stcculky

LOOSELY CONSIDERED A VENT.




Sometimes when I'm fronting, I imagine I'm in the castle. If nobody is around, sometimes I close my eyes when I'm walking down the hallway and it feels like I'm there. I miss it, but at the same time I don't, because of.. you know. Him. (And that whole way of life, honestly.) I know I technically was never there, but it feels like I was. It feels like I went to sleep, and the next morning I woke up here. I'm adjusting, and I'd say I'm doing well, but it's kind of hard. I feel almost guilty in a way for wanting to be there. I guess I just miss having a purpose and working for somebody? Even if that somebody turned out to be evil. It was nice to be busy most of the time, not having anything to do isn't the best. I thrive on being busy and productive. Not having to do anything is weird.

I'll leave it off there, I guess. Thank you for reading, if you did.

-Hunter

Been fronting since last night. I made us a carrd (that took way longer than it should've since I dont get human technology. At all.), changed our profile pictures on everything we have on our school computer, drew for a while, deep cleaned + organized the bathroom, made a couple playlists, aaand now I have nothing to do. It's weird to be expecting somebody to put you into a routine and give you commands but nobody ever does it. I guess that's just what I'm used to. It's nice to not have to live that way, but at the same time, life gets very boring very fast. Oh well. I'm managing.


-Hunter