stcculky

I just had my first experience with what looks like a berserker shift.

I've experienced so many different shifts, including mental. I know what my mental shifts are like, and they tend to make me more irate than usual among other things, and it goes away after some time with little to no issues. This one shift, however, is different.

I was playing Super Smash Bros Ultimate, specifically the World of Light mode. I was minding my own business, fighting my way through the map.

But then, I saw it. The Groudon spirit.
( Read more... )

lb_lee

vaguelyautonomous linked us a cool survey Sprites made regarding death and dormancy among plurals: https://docs.google.com/document/u/0/d/1wARJSMVDVYhX1v4WKAdrCbS_f6hIdXvpHNw810gSOhA/mobilebasic

Too bad we didn’t know about it while it was running; death is a large part of our inner workings and we have strong opinions on it. (I am also utterly baffled and deeply annoyed that apparently headmate death is STILL considered impossible or an “endo thing”; I guess they never read When Rabbit Howls. I’m sure I could find earlier medical references if singlet death wasn’t currently devouring my attention.)

Very interesting was to learn we’re apparently in a major minority in that we don’t really experience dormancy! (Except arguably Rawlin? But she was imprisoned in the deep bowels of headspace for years, so it’s not like she was GONE, just we lost track of her. She eventually went into hibernation because what else was there to do in solitary confinement for decades?) We lose access to people from elsewhere, but they aren’t dormant; our metaphorical rail just doesn’t go to their stop anymore and their lives just continue without us.

Current Mood: tired

thesystemdied

honestly it seems all pretty futile to me.

So we have this system friend that was really cool when we met them. It was the height of popularity of epic the musical and we shared quite a few sourcemates for it. Eventually two of them got into relations. it was sweet, it was cute, talked all the time, called all the time. Then another two got into relations. Okay, thats two, more than one. They were also sweet, cute, talked often. And then again, another relationship. It all sticked within epic the musical alter (and greek mythology.)

(Ours) Hermes with ody.
(Ours) Calypsos with (a different)Odysseus.
And (ours) Dionysus with Apollo.

It was good, it was great, it was awesome for them. Then it just stopped. Everything stopped. They all stopped showing up. The talking and reaching out stopped happening. And whatever connection was there just shriveled up. Its honestly hurting the 3 a lot. Dionysus is taking it the hardest since hes a frequent fronter.

This "friend" we made is simply just ours, we aren't theirs and its very obvious. They only reach out when they need to vent, feel lonely, or feel like they have No One else to talk to. We aren't a friend, we aren't even second option, we're a "well i have nothing else so i guess this is good enough." And i don't know what we want to do about it because it's not only affecting the big three but all of us because we already don't have friends as is a crave a simple connection.

And and one last thing. I and amsel have suspicions that they've pushed far from us so much so that they don't want us simply getting into a shared interest. When We mentioned wanting to watch The Pitt their first reaction was: "oh i don't think its something you would like."
Which, common we watch house first of all, second it VERY much seemed like something we would like, and tired we definitely liked it.

Im just stumped on what to do. I cant cut them off, thats not fair to the big three, i could confront them but i don't even know how i would, and besides i don't really want to be friends with someone like that.

- Dennis

329production

We’ve been thinking, the response to being dehumanized are often divided into “no, I’m still human!” and “fine then, I’m nonhuman and I’m proud, deal with it”. We understand why nonhumans tend to be the latter, but we seem to go with the former. To us, both options are correct. To us, maybe the difference is caused by our species identity because most of us are human.

Nonhumans would challenge the norm that only humans deserve respect. Obviously we can’t say for sure if other people see it the same way too, but the “I’m still human” side, at least when we say it, challenges the norm of what counts as human in the first place. At least when we see it, these are two sides of the same “we deserve respect too” coin.

The ways we’re human can vary. Most of us are close to standard human save from a few things like being someone that most people consider a fictional character. Some are born nonhuman but has lived with/as humans for long enough to see themselves as human too. Some others are born human, but forced into nonhumanity in some fashion and it barely changes how they identify on the inside. In general, we tend to be tied to humanity in some way and it’ll feel wrong for at least the majority of us to completely divorce ourselves from it.

This is just a guess, but maybe we lean this way at least partially because we’re multiply marginalized. Other than being alterhuman, we’re also queer, neurodivergent, and part of a racial and religious minority among other things, and these groups are very often dehumanized by those in positions of power and privilege. This may have ended up planting this idea in our subconscious revolving around fighting our way to get our humanity to be recognized, and it informs how we tend to navigate through alterhuman communities. Being loud about our human alterhumanity in hopes of reaching other folks and being recognized as alterhuman too, even when we don’t fit the norms of a given space in some way.

lb_lee

Rogan: Apparently DID Awareness Day was yesterday. I... frankly had more important things to be doing, but okay, let's... let's pull the old shit together and say something.

( This will surely end well for all my readers! )

Current Mood: pissed off
Current Music: Jack on Fire - "This Shit Sucks"
Crossposts: https://lb-lee.insanejournal.com/20428.html

thesystemdied

well, it feels like I haven't talked to anyone really.

I sorta stopped asking for him. asking to see him, asking to talk to him, it felt futile. Of course I know it's not his fault, I know he can't be front all the time and I know it's not all that up to him. It's just been a month so some part of me just feels drifted. My sun set so now it's just been night for so long I'm no longer waiting for morning.

I still have made no effort to talk to the bird. I'm co-front/continuous a lot during interaction but I never make myself known and he never tells. I always think about it though, what a relationship with them would be like for me, if it'll make me happier. I keep wondering what the sun would think, If he'd think.

- Dionysus

bodyetal

Purim sameach! This Monday we went to our shul’s Purim party, and we wouldn’t miss it for the world.

Jewish holidays really only fall into two categories; solemn and sober observation, and FUCK YOU WE LIVED. Purim is firmly in the latter camp. I’m not going to explain the holiday, because Wikipedia will do a better job, but it’s fun. It’s awesome. We love our synagogue and we love our rabbi, who is a massive ally in every sense (plurality included).

We watched two schpiels—the first was the normal one, but the second was written by fifth graders from our synagogue’s childcare program. Our synagogue always has schpiels connected to modern day issues, and this year it was a big old fuck Trump, fuck Miller, fuck Musk, and most of all, fuck ICE. (The kids had Stephen Miller in the role of Haman. Their version talked a lot about immigrant rights and immigrant-Jew solidarity. I think the kids are alright.)

Crow&: Also, TW finally decided to show up. (We used singular pronouns up top, but we don’t know if it was me or TW writing that. Or both.)

TW: So maybe I haven’t been around in a substantial sense since last year.

Crow&: Which is very frustrating when someone is half of why we picked our major.

Anyway, Purim is over, but we try to carry its joy with us for as long as we can. Let’s see if it gets us through midterms. (And look at us, posting!)

Current Mood: amused

lb_lee

Rogan: A friend of mine is dead but I’m not ready to talk about that yet, so instead I’m distracting myself with Adam Becker’s More Everything Forever: AI Overlords, Space Empires, and Silicon Valley’s Crusade to Control the Fate of Humanity.

( I’m failing and I miss my dead friend. )

Current Mood: indescribable
Crossposts: https://lb-lee.insanejournal.com/19908.html

lb_lee

(Title comes from Pat Califia’s highly relevant essay, “The Limits of S/M Relationship, or Mr. Benson Doesn’t Live Here Anymore.”)

Rogan: Mac has been wanting a date night since Boskone, and we chose the gay leather biker flick, Pillion! We saw it on a triple date with other kinky queer friends of ours, and it generated many conversations!

( My initial biggest question was, can Alexander Skarsgard convince me he’s a gay leather biker? SPOILERS )

Current Mood: kinky
Crossposts: https://lb-lee.insanejournal.com/19566.html

lb_lee

Mori:

witchpoetdreamer asked us about a list of our favorite zines. FOOLISH FOOL HAS ACTIVATED MY TRAP!

For this post, we are using "zine" here to mean "a floppy booklet (lacking a spine) that is either self- or small-published, and also NOT from an academic journal NOR just a comic." It can have comics IN it, or mash-up image and text in other, more experimental ways (such as the classic cut-and-paste style of zine), but it can't be primarily comics or we will be here for all eternity.

HERE WE GO! ALL ABOARD THE ZINE MACHINE, Y'ALL!

( ZIIIIINESSSS! )

Current Mood: dorky
Crossposts: https://lb-lee.insanejournal.com/19111.html

lb_lee

Hey everybody, it's that time again: time to vote for which stuff gets the LiberaPay/Patreon money this month!

As always, anyone can vote (please do!), but LiberaPay and Patreon patrons get double weight for their votes. (Due to Patreon's porn purges, I really encourage you to use LiberaPay, if you get a choice.) If you want to see the blurbs for any of these works, those are here! (You can also leave your requests there; requesting a story or essay is always free!) If you don't have a DW and so can't do the poll, that's okay; just leave your vote in the comments below; anon comments are turned on.

Which works gets the money, and thus posted this month? YOU CHOOSE, readers!

Poll #34303 2026 March Fan Poll

Open to: Registered Users, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 26

View Respondents

Did you toss LiberaPay/Patreon money my way last month?

View Answers

Yes (my votes count double)
5 (100.0%)

What writing gets posted this month?

View Answers

Infinity Smashed: Born Lucky
6 (23.1%)

Reverend Alpert: the Traveling Exorcist
2 (7.7%)

Henchwench for Hire (F/F supervillainy)
4 (15.4%)

Rutless (trans omegaverse porno)
5 (19.2%)

Kayfabe in the Coliseum (psuedo-Greco-Roman gladiator fights)
5 (19.2%)

Psychodrama and Realitymashing (essay)
22 (84.6%)

What art/comic/zine gets posted this month?

View Answers

Cult Comix (doodle strips of Cultiples BS)
4 (16.7%)

Death Watch (bony lady comic)
11 (45.8%)

Protection (one-page dark side of protector duty)
5 (20.8%)

Thrown Away
3 (12.5%)

Sneak Attack! (cutesilly Mori/Rawlin one-page comic)
11 (45.8%)

Possessions (text-only poetry zine of haunting incompetently)
10 (41.7%)

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stcculky

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Plural Death and Dormancy Survey

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My Worst DID Awareness Day Post Ever

The sun and a bird

Happy Purim! (Welcome Back, Deadbeat)

Less Nothing Right Now

Mr. Skarsgard Doesn’t Live Here Anymore: Pillion

LB's favorite zines!

2026 March Fan Poll

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